Stop Being a Nice Manager: Why Kindness Beats Niceness Every Time
- Andy Nisevic
- Aug 8
- 2 min read
Being a nice person comes with great intent. An intent to create a cohesive team, where people feel safe and welcome, able to talk about the things that are bothering them, etc.
The reality of nice has the opposite effect.
When a team member approaches a nice manager for help, they’ll tell them exactly what they need to do, and where to go for the resources. Maybe even do some of the work for them. This leads to a reliance on the manager to solve problems, rather than a team capable of independent thought and problem solving.
A nice leader will accept a piece of work that’s below the required standards, and finish it themselves. This results in an under-appreciation of what the standards are, and stifles that individual’s growth and development.
During an annual appraisal, a nice manager focuses on where an individual has performed well and breezes through the areas they need to improve. This gives an inflated sense of progress and stunts growth. Setting them up to fail if they’re promoted.
Instead, managers need to act with kindness.
Kindness is having the difficult conversation with someone because they need to hear it.
Kindness is telling someone they’re underperforming, helping them understand the requirements and how to improve. When a team member approaches a kind boss with a problem, they’ll ask their solution and fill in any knowledge gaps.
A kind leader will hold an appraisal, providing credit where it’s due, while ensuring the individual knows what improvements need to be made if they want to fulfil their ambitions.
Nice is easy. It takes no time and maintains a level of harmony. Being nice doesn’t improve anything. In fact, it can cause a retrograde in performance until the harmony becomes false and tension starts to grow.
Kind is hard. It requires saying the things the other person needs to hear but doesn’t want to. Kindness creates uncomfortable situations and takes an investment in time.
Kindness also creates independent, self-managing teams, who are multi-skilled and capable of high performance.
Don’t be a nice leader, be a kind one instead.
Photography: Headshot Toby
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